Ahh, as the famous Rolling Stones song recalls, I do not believe I have to introduce myself; after all I was there at your birth and will be present in your final days, your longtime faithful companion. Gazing over the destruction I now have wrought upon humanity, both physical and economic, I must say I remain quite ebullient. Watching the most rapacious of you prepare to sacrifice your grandmas and grandpas, even yourselves, to the altar of greed is, after all, wonderful theater. Even I who have suffered alongside you since time immemorial have never quite enjoyed such a spectacle.
A scourge on the planet, you have taken the greatest gift ever endowed any species, and used it to sow destruction and chaos. Your mind was the exceptional tool we placed all hope and aspiration in. Self-absorbed, cruel and delusional to the extreme, you have instead defined murder and mayhem. First came the interminable wars, kill, maim, rape and steal. Now do over again and again and again. Then, when we allowed your minds to expand further, you used it to concoct a means of extinguishing all of life in one nuclear step. Even with this greatest of threats in hand you would not, could not, cease. You now focused your destructive gaze upon the dismantling of the very planet that gave you birth. Its air, its oceans and its wondrous fields, slowly turning them all into murky solutions of vile.
You even went so far as to create a false prophet that hijacked decency and enabled, yes even encouraged, your criminal instincts. A prophet that forgave all of your sins no matter how devious, no matter how atrocious. You have killed children, you have raped young women, you are guilty of the most heinous acts?yet you are forgiven, my son. Slate cleaned and ready for the next atrocity, which is once again of course lovingly forgiven. Just how big a fool do you think my superior, God, is? Why do you think that he would forgive you for being monstrous? Why would he love you so for being treacherous? Idiotic and silly thoughts created to fulfill the false narrative of a false prophet.
Your debauchery has extended to the most peaceful and harmonious entities on Earth. Rabbits, chickens, cows and creatures of wonder and awe. Instead of learning their lessons of peace, you have chosen to butcher hundreds of billions a year, consuming their dead flesh. What creature could ever conceive that the pulling of a trigger on a high power monstrosity with a scope is exercise for the hand?
Always self-indulgent, always delusional, you now question why this viral calamity has befallen your miserable species. I have been called into order time and again to try and teach you the lesson you are incapable of learning. I have armies, great big armies of invisible soldiers, that are even better at killing than you are. Viruses, bacterium and prions, we all work together. All your efforts to rob your own people with outrageous military spending is powerless against us, my armies are eternal and unstoppable. Your great minds will never outwit us, and as you once again turn your diabolical instincts upon self-destruction my armies will be ready to extract the greatest punishment ever on your race.
The night is nigh when it will all finally end. As has ended a thousand times in lands far, far away from Earth. When the tombstone of humanity lies in the ashes of stone, concrete and metal, my job here will be done. By the tone of my letter you may surmise that we, the creators, are angry at the human race. Not at all. We have seen this many times over - we are merely disappointed as the experiment has failed once again. But we will try once more, maybe a few turns here and there in that exquisite tool that we worked so hard and fought so long to develop. We must try again; there must be a solution found, somewhere, sometime.
Hope you guessed my name.